the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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