Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
