I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
