it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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