How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
