my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i want to swaddle you in tequila
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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