i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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