Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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