he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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