Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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