Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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