Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
