I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
