I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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