: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
