I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
