Have you finally orgasmed yet?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
