I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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