shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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