I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
