i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize