did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
