worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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