Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
