College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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