I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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