In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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