like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
