so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
