Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet

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(805): View more from California

we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend

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(925): View more from California

I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke

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(301): View more from Maryland

It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together

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(505): View more from New Mexico

It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?

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(925): View more from California

The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.

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