Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
