bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
