Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize