Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
