Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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