she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
