There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
