The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
