It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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