Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
