Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
