I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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