It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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