i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
