They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
