Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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