he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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