worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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