I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
