guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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