Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
