Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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