I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
