You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
