Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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