Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
