i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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