Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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