i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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