I need to stop coming to work sober
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
