She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
