HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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