I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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