got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
