I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
