just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize