the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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