i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
