I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
