I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
